Tag: Sex Addiction

As We Approach the Holidays, We Ask Ourselves Will Next Year Be Different?

Will it be better than last year, or the year before that, or the year before………………….

Many times we said will next year will be different. I will not seek out the old and predictable patterns of behaviour that initially led to excitement, escape and/or a diversion from the mundane, boring, or stress. But upon fulfillment – brought more shame, more guilt and more despair at how did I get here and why did I do this again?

I promised myself I would never do this again. But the Holidays were stressful and busy and there was not much time for myself and my thoughts. Now the bustle and commotion of Christmas and New Year’s have passed and I can get on with my life. But what life is that?

Is it going to be my new life? One that will see me never act out again!

Or will it be the white-knuckle approach for a few weeks, a few days and then the stress, the boredom and the old thoughts creep back in and down the road we go. But this time will be different. It will be my last time!
Recognize the crazy self-talk that is happening here?

It’s time to halt the pattern of self-defeating behaviours and confront this secret obsession. Dr. Edith Eger states in her book The Choice that “I have a secret, but also the secret has me”. The secrets and the lack of self-will no longer have to control you.

Come forward into the light and find a way to make this, and every year, truly different! I can help you with that journey. Let’s get started.

An excellent summary of the manifestation of sex addiction and how pornography plays a significant part in developing the addict. Actual stories from sex addicts about their challenges and subsequent recovery.

The Problem

Addictive sexual behaviour, acting out behaviour we sometimes call it, leads to feelings of shame and depression. It has the effect of masking, covering up, or numbing feelings; and it leads to isolation and a complete loss of control.

Healthy sexual behaviour, on the other hand, is characterized by mutual respect, a sense of clarity about feelings and communication, joyfulness and genuine intimacy. It tends to make people feel emotionally and physically safe.

From Hope and Recovery, SAA 1987

The following article gives recognition to the on-going question as to whether sex behaviours can really be classified as an addiction. Those who have, and continue to live with it, understand how real and challenging it is. This acknowledgment by the World Health Organization WHO is more evidence of the need to provide assistance and help for the challenges associated with sexual addiction and/or sexual compulsivity.

USA Today Article: Sex Addictions are Deeply Misunderstood

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